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Dating Tips For Divorced Moms

There is a light at the end of the tunnel for both men and women when going through a divorce.  It becomes a reality that life with go on even without the person you have loved for so long in your life.  Navigatingthrough divorce and on to life after divorce is something that comes with the territory.  One major piece of the puzzle that leaves many in turmoil after their divorce is dating. 

Dating after being married to someone for a period of time can prove to be tricky.  Being that you have been out of the dating scene for a while it is understandable if those skills have faded into oblivion.  Face it, it has been ages since the last time you went out on a date.  A decade has past where you have not had to put yourself out there. You will be a bit rusty but you can get back in the dating game with a little help.

First thing first, avoid club hopping at all costs.  The men that are at the clubs aren’t looking for anything long term.  You set yourself up for instant failure in the dating department when you end up at a night club.  What you will find is a one night cheap thrill which is probably the last thing you want.  Don’t cheapen yourself when jumping back into the dating world.  You will only find what you desire by putting your true self out there.  Clubs are an alcohol filled, hormone engulfed environments that can lead you straight into another disaster. 

Group dates tend to ease tension and provide a great environment in which to meet new people.  It is easier to be yourself and to put your true self out there when you are with people who you already know and whom make you comfortable.  Being introduced to men through friends is a great way to find someone that is like minded.  Think about the reality of this; friends of friends already have something in common with you.  If they are friends with your friends there is an increased likelihood that you are bound to have some things in common. 

Another method that is good for women getting back into the dating scene after a divorce is online dating. Avoid free dating sites as these are the ones that have proven to have a fair amount of scammers. Set up an online profile and start slowly.  There is nothing that says that you have to meet face to face.  Try emailing and talking online for a few months.  When you are ready set up a plan to meet one another.  Online dating can be a stress free way to start talking with people and learning how to put yourself out there.

If you aren’t up for a traditional dating after your divorce don’t feel pressure to do so.  Nothing is wrong with being independent and seeking to be comfortable in your own skin.  Put yourself out there and start making friends.  Volunteer, start participating in the community or team sport activities; anything to just get you back out into society.  When couples get married they tend to forget they are still individuals.  Simply put, start dating yourself before worrying about someone else.  Put yourself first and trust me the rest will follow in time. 

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom's in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Rules Of Dating As A Divorced Father

Dating as a divorced parent can often be difficult.  This is especially true for dads.  There is a lot to prove to not only their children but also their ex and future partners.  Divorces fathers often have only part time custody therefore tend to be less present with their everyday lives.  This leaves them missing out on a lot of the little things that account for the lives of their children. That also means that when they do have time to spend with their children they really need to make every minute count.

Dating can often be a bit difficult for divorced dads.  There is a lot to juggle while maintaining a healthy balance between time for yourself, time with your children and time for a significant other.  When divorced dads start back into the dating world they should do so with caution.  There is a lot to consider.  Not only do you need to follow the normal rules of dating but also a new set of rules for divorced fathers. 

First and most importantly never date or marry an individual that feels she deserves all of your attention and demands to be put ahead of your children.  No matter what she brings to the table no women is worth placing your children and their needs on the back burner.  When you had children you made the commitment to put them before anyone else in your life. 

Don’t compare children.  This is especially true among siblings and step siblings.  When you begin to compare them to one another they will begin to feel doubt in themselves and the love that you have for them.  All children are different and unique in their own ways.  Praise them for who they are and what they bring to the table.  Each child offers something special to the family unit. 

When you are a divorced father it is crucial that you do everything in your power to stay connected with your children.  You need to be on time and attentive to them.  Make a special effort to be at every event be it birthdays, sports, field trips and so on.  Your presence or lack thereof will be noticed by your children, your ex and so will your significant other.  If the person you are dating is someone you will want to be with forever they should encourage this. 

Another important piece of the puzzle is that you live where your children live at least until they are out of school.  This will ensure that you are there for as many big and little events as you can be.  When you are dating be clear that you have no intentions of uprooting your life until your children are grown.  You need to be clear that they are dating you and that your relationship is important but so is the relationship you share with your children.

Last but not least, when dating don’t discuss your ex-wife, especially in front of your children.  When dating, your ex is off limits in conversations with your significant other while you are with your children.  They feed off of your negativity and will hold that against you later on in life. 

It is a whole new world being a divorced father.  Every aspect of life with change just a little bit none more so than your dating life.  Take it all in, enjoy the ride and remember to be in the front seat of the roller coaster with your children!

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.