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Monday, September 29, 2014
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Dating Tips For Divorced Moms
There is a light at the end of the tunnel for both men and
women when going through a divorce. It
becomes a reality that life with go on even without the person you have loved
for so long in your life. Navigatingthrough divorce and on to life after divorce is something that comes with the
territory. One major piece of the puzzle
that leaves many in turmoil after their divorce is dating.
Dating after being married to someone for a period of time
can prove to be tricky. Being that you
have been out of the dating scene for a while it is understandable if those
skills have faded into oblivion. Face
it, it has been ages since the last time you went out on a date. A decade has past where you have not had to
put yourself out there. You will be a bit rusty but you can get back in the
dating game with a little help.
First thing first, avoid club hopping at all costs. The men that are at the clubs aren’t looking
for anything long term. You set yourself
up for instant failure in the dating department when you end up at a night
club. What you will find is a one night
cheap thrill which is probably the last thing you want. Don’t cheapen yourself when jumping back into
the dating world. You will only find
what you desire by putting your true self out there. Clubs are an alcohol filled, hormone engulfed
environments that can lead you straight into another disaster.
Group dates tend to ease tension and provide a great
environment in which to meet new people.
It is easier to be yourself and to put your true self out there when you
are with people who you already know and whom make you comfortable. Being introduced to men through friends is a
great way to find someone that is like minded.
Think about the reality of this; friends of friends already have
something in common with you. If they
are friends with your friends there is an increased likelihood that you are
bound to have some things in common.
Another method that is good for women getting back into the
dating scene after a divorce is online dating. Avoid free dating sites as these
are the ones that have proven to have a fair amount of scammers. Set up an
online profile and start slowly. There
is nothing that says that you have to meet face to face. Try emailing and talking online for a few
months. When you are ready set up a plan
to meet one another. Online dating can
be a stress free way to start talking with people and learning how to put yourself
out there.
If you aren’t up for a traditional dating after your divorce
don’t feel pressure to do so. Nothing is
wrong with being independent and seeking to be comfortable in your own
skin. Put yourself out there and start
making friends. Volunteer, start
participating in the community or team sport activities; anything to just get
you back out into society. When couples
get married they tend to forget they are still individuals. Simply put, start dating yourself before
worrying about someone else. Put
yourself first and trust me the rest will follow in time.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing
in Women/Mom's in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan
areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.
Rules Of Dating As A Divorced Father
Dating as a divorced parent can often be difficult. This
is especially true for dads. There is a lot to prove to not only their
children but also their ex and future partners. Divorces fathers often
have only part time custody therefore tend to be less present with their
everyday lives. This leaves them missing out on a lot of the little
things that account for the lives of their children. That also means that when
they do have time to spend with their children they really need to make every
minute count.
Dating can often be a bit difficult for divorced dads.
There is a lot to juggle while maintaining a healthy balance between time for
yourself, time with your children and time for a significant other. When
divorced dads start back into the dating world they should do so with
caution. There is a lot to consider. Not only do you need to follow
the normal rules of dating but also a new set of rules for divorced fathers.
First and most importantly never date or marry an individual
that feels she deserves all of your attention and demands to be put ahead of
your children. No matter what she brings to the table no women is worth
placing your children and their needs on the back burner. When you had
children you made the commitment to put them before anyone else in your
life.
Don’t compare children. This is especially true among
siblings and step siblings. When you begin to compare them to one another
they will begin to feel doubt in themselves and the love that you have for
them. All children are different and unique in their own ways.
Praise them for who they are and what they bring to the table. Each child
offers something special to the family unit.
When you are a divorced father it is crucial that you do
everything in your power to stay connected with your children. You need
to be on time and attentive to them. Make a special effort to be at every
event be it birthdays, sports, field trips and so on. Your presence or
lack thereof will be noticed by your children, your ex and so will your
significant other. If the person you are dating is someone you will want
to be with forever they should encourage this.
Another important piece of the puzzle is that you live where
your children live at least until they are out of school. This will
ensure that you are there for as many big and little events as you can
be. When you are dating be clear that you have no intentions of uprooting
your life until your children are grown. You need to be clear that they
are dating you and that your relationship is important but so is the
relationship you share with your children.
Last but not least, when dating don’t discuss your ex-wife,
especially in front of your children. When dating, your ex is off limits in
conversations with your significant other while you are with your
children. They feed off of your negativity and will hold that against you
later on in life.
It is a whole new world being a divorced father. Every
aspect of life with change just a little bit none more so than your dating
life. Take it all in, enjoy the ride and remember to be in the front seat
of the roller coaster with your children!
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in
divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in
Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.
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