As a divorce father, the trickiest
times of year fall around children’s birthdays and throughout the holiday
season. This is especially true for newly divorced dads. With each
year that passes new traditions start to take hold and the season pass without
thinking too much about the way things used to be. Unfortunately it takes
time to get comfortable with the way the family is now structured as well as
creating new rituals, traditions and special moments together.
When it comes to raising children
after divorce there are some couples who can happily agree on everything to do
with their children. They jointly are involved in everything and are
comfortable with the new life each has developed. However, there are some
couples that no matter what have a hard time agreeing on a joint way to handle
anything involving their children.
Sharing custody can
happen in a way that you are both a part of everything and that the only basic
difference is which house the kids are sleeping at that night. It can
also be drastically different, one in which the only time you have with your
children is the time you are scheduled with them. You can only attend
sporting events when the kids are on your time, you can only attend school
functions that fall during your allotted custody time. The arrangement
you have throughout the year will really dictate the natural progression of the
holiday season.
If you and your spouse can’t stand
one another it is unfathomable that Santa will make just one visit to an agreed
upon destination. If this is the case and you find yourselves unable to
put aside your differences you will have to create a new tradition with your
children. Maybe on the Christmas you don’t have the children Santa brings
a destination vacation instead of presents. Then during your allotted
time you can go away with them and spend time making memories that have nothing
to do with the normal holiday traditions. On the years in which they
celebrate Christmas with you consider going all out on traditional happenings
found throughout the season. The key is to be flexible. Enjoy the
time that you have with them instead of allowing the focus to be on the time
without them.
No matter what your level of
communication is with your ex it is always advisable to have a plan.
Choose to be proactive in planning for holidays, birthdays etc… and be willing
to be the flexible parent. This goes a long way with making the time your
children have with you less stressful. You may find that you are the one
always biting the bullet especially when special occasions come up. This
is hard to take in at first but your ability to flow through these situations
will stay with your children forever. They will see you as the one
sacrificing and the one easing their distress. Choose to be kind and
generous. It is something that your kids will appreciate.
This being said you don’t have to
be a push over. Of course, if there is an issue it is best to meet with
your divorce attorney and
ask for guidance. Maybe it is time to meet with friend of the court to
work out a more suitable agreement, something that better addresses special
occasions within the children’s lives.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of
Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing
in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the
divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more
information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.