When you walk down the aisle into wedded bliss no one is ever thinking about what lies on the opposite side of happily ever after. The vow does not say happily ever after until the divorce after all. As much as we don’t like to think that our marriage could fail and that we could be the fifty percent that don’t work out it does happen. As a divorce attorney I am often asked what the leading factors in divorce are. From experience and years of experience I have gained little knowledge to actually narrow the exact cause of divorce. Instead I have come to realize that many little factors combine into one massive explosion which in itself leads to filling for divorce.
For instance, many people believe that a fifty-fifty split in the chores around the home will keep you happily married until death do you part. This view is a rather modern version of society’s views on marriage and does not necessarily help with keeping your marriage out of divorce court. The chores might not be as much to blame as the way the structure of the family in this situation is viewed. One theory is that the marriage becomes less sacred as the wife is viewed as not doing her duties in maintaining the family. Although this is an old fashion view it still plays into the mindset of a family unit.
In marriage both partners should be willing to do things around the house for their partner as a desire to please them. Whether this is done in a perfect fifty-fifty split is less of an issue verse the mindset that you are doing something for your family and your partner. With this view of marriage you are doing chores to please your spouse rather than out of a combative view that everyone must stay equal.
In-laws and the relationships couples have with them are another source where people often site as the reason their marriage has failed. In studies it has been said that when a husband is close with his in-laws the marriage is 20% less likely to end in divorce where as the opposite is true when it is the wife that is close to her in-laws.
Why you ask? Many times men take criticism as constructive and use the information making it a less personal jab against them. This is not true when it comes to the wife accepting criticism or input. Women are more likely to see it as a meddlesome, personal attack on them. This rift often causes issues within a marriage. The fact is the relationship with the in-laws is not necessarily the issue but instead the manner at which we take in and process situations.
The list of reasons people think their marriages have failed is plentiful. Here I sited two issues that come out a lot when talking about why couples think their marriage dissolved. The main thing to remember if you find your marriage in a state in which it is beyond repair you both must seek council. Divorce attorneys work together to diffuse explosive situations and to create an outcome that will be in the best interest of both parties. In divorce proceeding’s the same thing is true as it is when talking about marriage success and failure… the little things add up and combine into one massive explosion. Attorney’s can help prevent your divorce from combusting.