When you enter into marriage the assumption is that you will stay married until death do you part. No one goes in thinking about the day there marriage will end in divorce however it happens more often than not now a day. If a divorce is eminent in your relationship and you are wondering how you can stay on good terms with your ex read on. Amicable divorces are important especially when children are involved and also when it comes to mutual friends and with the division of assets and liabilities.
The first thing to remember when trying to achieve an amicable divorce is that your children should never be put in the middle of anything. They are the most important thing that you and your spouse have in common. They will always be something that you created and share together. Your children will be affected by your divorce enough as is don’t add to it by making them a part of any decisions that need to be made. Sit down and discuss a custody arrangement that works to meet both of your needs as parents remembering that your children will thrive in a situation where both parents stay equally involved in their lives. Consistency is the key when it comes to arranging a working situation and plentiful relationship with your children. A situation that is feasible for both partners will benefit your children.
When going through a divorce consider dividing the assets rationally and as peacefully as possible. When you actually sit to discuss what each of you wants and don’t want you may be surprised to find that this is an easier process than you ever thought. Your spouse may have agreed to a dog to make you and the kids happy but has no interest in keeping the pet you love so dearly. The same can be said for tangible household items and cars. Your spouse may have bought certain items to make you happy and therefore there is not any attachment to the object therefore making it easy to surrender. Of course there will be items you both hold dear; think about the division of these assets in consideration with the larger picture. This process will be a lot of give and take. The same process can be achieved with liabilities as well.
Even if you know that the divorce is going to happen counseling can still help especially when it comes to splitting on good terms. A counselor offers a safe environment to speak from the heart and talk about your shared experiences from your prospective. This process can help you understand where your spouse is coming from and vise versa.
If you are planning on staying friendly with one another it is important that you hold your tongue; this is especially important in front of family and friends. Nothing good ever comes from speaking ill of your spouse so it is best to just keep those thoughts to yourself. When you are choosing to stay in contact and on peaceful terms with your spouse speaking negatively will not help nurture the relationship you are hoping for. When it comes to your children really keep your negative feelings and thoughts to yourself. When you and your ex disagree on situations regarding the children it is best to talk about those issues in private. Your children, family and friends should not be privy to this information; issues should be kept private and dealt with in a civil manner between you and your ex only. This will keep your divorce and relationship more peaceful overtime.
Everyone knows at least one couple who has been through or is going through a divorce. When a couple is separating there are two types of friends; those that share too many details about their divorce and those who share nothing. What you need is a friend who has been through the process that is willing to lend an ear and offer advice as needed based upon their experiences. Each divorce experience is different, learn lessons and take advice from others but understand your divorce is unique.
The first thing you need to do when your considering a divorce or you find yourself served with divorce papers is to consult a reputable divorce attorney. I know, I know, that is obvious however even if you don’t thing a divorce attorney is affordable you still need to talk to one. Many offer free consultations and low cost alternatives to those who can’t afford a divorce attorney throughout their entire divorce process. Going through a divorce without any legal representation will end up costing more than just financially in the end. Even in an uncontested divorce hiring a divorce attorney is needed. Hire legal representation before signing anything that has to do with your divorce.
This too may seem obvious but many couples forget; put your children and their needs before anything else when you are going through a divorce. Children are not to be used as pawns during your divorce. They are innocent victims. Your divorce is as difficult if not more difficult on them than it is either of you. Throughout the process be conscious of your divorce and the effects it is having on your children. Their best interest is in fact the only thing the two of you must agree upon during the entire process. Children thrive in an environment that both parents are included in. Consider this before dragging them into your mess and before denying them from seeing their other parent.
Consider who you trust with information pertaining your divorce. Some advice is nice but too much can lead to issues. Don’t bring a new mate into your divorce, don’t rely on only family when going through a divorce; find one or two people to trust with the most sensitive details of your divorce and turn to them during your crisis. Involving too many people brings in to play a lot of opinions and advice that may not apply. Too many opinions cloud your judgment and can lead to rash decisions.
Consider mediation as trials are not something that is needed for every divorce or something that everyone is prepared for. When you go to trial your divorce becomes something that is then put into total stranger’s hands and is removed from yours. Divorces settled through trial can take time, a lot of money as well as expensive attorneys. Consider going through mediation with your spouse, roll up your sleeves and come up with a compromise that both of you can live with that is appropriate for the needs of your entire family.
In the end, after your divorce is finalized it is important that you remember what is important to you. The microwave and sofa might seem like trivial things when all is said and done. Think about the emotional toll that your divorce is having on you and your family when considering what is worth fighting for. From the start consider what you are hoping for by the end and don’t stress over the little things. Everything is replaceable except time with your children so consider that when mediating over each and every other minor detail of your divorce.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.