Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Steps To Take Before Divorcing

Before a couple decides that their marriage is over and a divorce is inevitable it is advisable to seek out alternative options.  While not every marriage is salvageable it is best to be sure yours isn’t before taking the step to dissolve it permanently.  Divorce is a difficult process not only for you and your spouse but also for your children and extended family.  Strongly consider looking into some or all of the options below before calling it quits.  Divorce is the last step in marriage and considerably one that should be worked to avoid.  

Seek out the advice of a 
divorce attorney even as you try to salvage your marriage as they can also help you to protect yourself in this volatile state.  A divorce attorney has critical advice to share as well as contacts within your local community to help you as you salvage your marriage and thereafter if divorce is the chosen option in the end. 

Marriage counseling is the first step that is often recommended to couples who are struggling to keep their marriage intact.  Marriage counseling takes commitment and work from both partners to have any hope at success.  Counseling will help you identify problems in the marriage and work towards resolution.  Even if in the end you feel like a permanent separation in the form of divorce is needed you and your spouse should take away a good deal of information to help lead towards productive communication as issues come about in the divorce and custody process.

A trial separation may be a next step to consider as it will allow you and your spouse to work on your issues apart.  The hard part of a trial separation is when it comes to your children.  Try to work out a solution that allows you to separate but not uproot the children and their day to day routine and activities.  The space that comes with a trial separation is invaluable.  In order for this to be an effective manner in which you continue to work on your marriage you must work together.  Create a timeline so that both parties have specifics on how long the separation will last and what each of you desires upon reconciliation. 

When moving forward with either of the above options or both of them it is important that you seek advice from an 
attorney specializing in divorce.  Seeking council should not be considered a step closer to the dissolution of your marriage but instead as a way to protect yourself if in fact a divorce is inevitable even after marriage counseling and/or a trial separation. 

Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom's in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerforwomen.com.

Focusing On The Positive Effects Of Divorce On Your Children

The effects your divorce has on your children don’t all have to be negative.  Some aspects of divorce can actually affect your children in a positive manner.  If your marriage is one of unhappiness and void of love and respect your children see this hurt every day.   So even though divorce will be difficult on your children positives may occur.  Your children’s reality is built around you both as parents.  This does not mean that it is the only way in which this can occur is under the same roof. 

There will be issues that come and go with having parents under separate roofs but they are not any worse than those that can arise with two parents under one roof that are not working as a one.  There are several ways in which parenting together under different roofs leaves your children better off than the alternative. 

Communication is the key to ensuring your kids are not afflicted by the negative effects divorce can have on them.  The dissolution of your marriage and those issues are between the two of you and have absolutely nothing to do with the children you created together.  Leave your children out of the discussion that surround finances, property division,
 custody agreements and such.  Let your kids be kids.  When you are with them communicate in an appropriate manner with your ex.  Be civil enough to communicate with one another with the details surrounding visits as well as the children’s day to day life.  You don’t have to agree but those are the details that should be left out when talking with your children or when they are in ear shot.

Your children should not be expected to change the lifestyle they are accustomed to because of your divorce.  This is something that is not always possible but working together should be probable.  Money spent on your children, for your children and such is just that, money spent on the children you chose to have together.   If your children are accustomed to having a cell phone for instance, this is not an expense that is normal to be included when deciding upon a reasonable monthly child support stipend.  Make arrangements with your ex to split the bill no matter whose name the bill is under.  These situations will arise time and time again with driver’s education, school field trips or outings with friends.  Be clear that the money that is spent for child’s support if used for the basic necessities such as food, clothing and shelter.  The extras should not be expected to be taken from this fund.

The effects of 
your divorce on your children will depend on the two of you.  Good communication does not mean that you agree on each and every decision what is does mean is that the effects of your divorce on your children will be more positive then negative.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.