Maintaining a good relationship with your ex for the sake of raising your children together is not always easy. It is simpler to walk away from your ex and think of them as a distant memory the minute the divorce decree is signed but this is not as easy for those who share custody of a children. In order to live with your ex on a daily basis it is crucial to learn how to cope with them on a regular basis. A good relationship with your children’s father after your divorce takes a lot more commitment and effort on your part than your marriage ever did. In order to do this there are five basic reminders to live by. Living by these five rules on a regular basis will lead you to the happiest life possible for you and your children.
All animosity between the two of you should be left behind: With any life change, especially divorce comes a period of transition. Your life has been changed and now you are left to lead the type of life you truly want to. This will start a while new chapter for you, your ex and your children. Leave the resentment and past problems right where they are. The past is the past and the present is yours to define with your ex and the children shared between the two of you.
Don’t worry about the stigma of divorce: When a couple gets married and divorced at a young age the thought is that the marriage was rushed into. The stigma is that you were not as mature as older adults who marry later in life. Marriage takes a commitment along with a lot of hard work; it is not for many couples no matter how young or old they are. Having children makes marriage a whole lot more work as well no matter how old you are when you get married and settle into having children. Don’t let other peoples judgments create your story.
Don’t make our friends and family chose sides: When a divorce takes place it is important to ensure your family and friends that there is no need to take sides. This is especially important when it comes to co-parenting. The families remain a vital part of your children’s lives and therefore will remain a part of yours and your ex’s. Do your best to foster this and grow a relationship with all of the people in your children’s lives.
Don’t forget to be flexible and respectful: If your children want to babysit the dog they shares with your ex while he is away on a business trip allow for a change of plans. If your ex needs to switch days he is with your son, do so without a hassle. This will foster a better relationship between the two of you and make the times you need help a bit easier for him to return the favor and help you. Plus it shows your children there can be a win-win situation in a divorce.
No matter how turbulent your divorce was it is time to write a new future with your ex for the sake of your children. Keep an outlook that focuses on the benefits of co-parenting. Divorce attorneys will tell you that a positive, fresh outlook on co-parenting while leaving the dust of the divorce to settle is in the best interest of all parties.
Co-parenting is important when it comes to giving your children the stability they thrive on while continuing to have close relationships with both parents and both sides of their families. It is not easy but co-parenting with your ex gives your children a chance to grow up in an environment that promotes family unity. Co-parenting allows you to create a working, parenting relationship with your ex for the sake of your children. With the following tips in mind you and your ex can remain calm, consistent while resolving to avoid conflict with one another.
It will be difficult to move past the history that is shared with your ex but joint custody arrangements help to create a new path for your children. To begin upon this new joint venture with your ex it is crucial that you begin making shared decisions, begin interacting during drops offs and speak to one another. It may be difficult when in reality all you want to do is forget that person but in order for your children to retain close relationships with both you and the children’s father.
One of the best ways that this can be accomplished is to begin thinking about this relationship as a new one all together. One that is no longer about either of you but instead only centered on what is best for your children. This is the first step in becoming a mature co-parent after your divorce.
Children will begin to realize that they are more important than the conflict that resulted in your divorce when you can put it all aside and co-parent. No matter what the circumstance of your divorce co-parenting allows children to a variety of feelings including:
Security: Feeling secure is important no matter what age you are but as children it is imperative. When a child feels confident that they are loved by both parents they will adjust quicker and more easily to their divorce. This will also allow them to have a higher level of self-esteem than children of divorced parents who chose not to co-parent.
Children of parents whom are divorced benefit from the consistency that comes along with it. Many divorce attorneys will tell you children that are co-parented have consistently better behavior because they are under the same rules, discipline, rewards and can understand what is expected of them and what they should expect.
Co-parenting often fosters a better ability for children to solve their problems. They will see their parents working together thus fostering their children’s ability to effectively and peacefully solve problems that arise on their own.
Children with parents that are working to raise them together also create a healthy example to follow. This is a pattern that will follow them and carry them into their future relationships.
The main element involved in co-parenting is that the focus stays on the children and your children only. This can be a hard transition but it is vital for your children’s future well being that you both chose to work together and put aside the emotions of anger, hurt and resentment you have towards one another.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information athttp://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com.