Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The Unpredictability In Marriage

No one person fully understands why some marriages last while others don’t.  There are however some common elements that we see to why couples seek a divorce.  Some marriages fall apart because of a number of elements while others just seem to disintegrate for no reason at all.  The list below includes common elements divorce attorneys see in cases of divorce.  Knowing what causes a major to fail may help individuals avoid these failings when seeking a long term relationship in the future.
The most common reason men and women give that are looking to dissolve their marriage is unfaithfulness.  Infidelity causes approximately sixty five percent of all marriages to end.  The hurt that comes along with one spouse cheating on another is almost always a hurt that cannot be mended.  Marriages where infidelity occurs must take massive steps towards repair in order to survive.
Another common reason for divorce is financial disagreements.  Often one partner is a spender and one is a saver.  Instead of working together to determine an appropriate budget to meet both their needs the situation is often ignored.  This leads both partners to feel major resentment towards the other.  This cycle has many pitfalls that eventually lead to divorce.
Addiction is another main reason given as reason that individuals are seeking a divorce.  Addiction to sports, gambling, liquor, drugs or any other substance that causes one spouse to neglect another leaves one spouse feeling neglected and unloved.  In marriage neither partner wants to take a backseat in the others life.  When addiction occurs the person can no longer see the needs of his or her partner and therefore the downward spiral occurs. If you notice addictive tendencies in a person before you marry don’t think that just because they get married they will change. This simply does not occur.  It doesn’t matter what promises are made beforehand.
Physical attraction is most often the first thing that draws us into an attraction and therefore is one of the top reasons the attraction dissolves.  This sounds crazy to many of us however is a very legitimate reason involved in seeking a divorce.  One spouse may feel resentment towards the other if they have gained weight or their appearance has changed drastically.  This decrease in attraction can cause a lack of sexual interest both which result in a failed marriage.
Violence and physical abuse are also listed as top reasons marriages end in divorce.  If one spouse is verbally or physically abusive the marriage is doomed.  This behavior will become more and more violent especially if the abuser doesn’t recognize the issue at hand.  If one partner is unwilling to change a divorce is inevitable.
Immaturity is another common occurrence in marriage that leads one spouse to file for divorce.  Marriage is intended for two committed adults.  When one of these individuals fails to advance to the next level of maturity it can become too cumbersome a job for the other to take on.  Raising children on top of dealing with an immature spouse can become overwhelming.
Marriage is not to be entered into lightly and neither is divorce.  Divorce attorneys advise couples experiencing any type of conflict first meet with a counselor to seek out resolution before committing to a divorce.  After this process there will be clarity on whether a reconciliation can be worked towards or not.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Women/Mom’s in divorce throughout Trenton and the surrounding Michigan areas. Find us at

Divorce Attorney Specializing In Men’s Well Being During and After Divorce

Did you know that women file for divorce twice as often as men?  Any man that has gone through a divorce will tell you that the experience and effects it has on them is devastating.  It is important to make good choices before getting married.  Take into account the following information to help decrease the chances of experiencing any of these devastating outcomes.
Forty percent of marriages end in divorce.  This is an unfortunate statistic.  It becomes expected that people marry and therefore often occurs in haste.  Getting married is all too simple.  Perhaps if this process was more difficult fewer marriages would end in divorce.  Take time to really get to know an individual before you choose to get married.  Perhaps take marriage classes to better prepare you for spending your lifetime learning to compromise.  Marriage is a journey of two people learning to combine their lives into one.  If either person is not committed to this there will eventually be discourse.
With divorce as common as it is blended families are the new norm.  Sixty eight percent of children between the ages of fourteen and eighteen live in a blended family.  This may be the number one reasons that teen delinquency is on the rise.  Children in blended families often feel the effects of their parents’ divorce and suffer from ever feeling whole again.  They often feel that when their parents remarry they become less important.  New love takes over a parent’s attention which can cause children to feel neglected.
When men divorce the hardest adjustment for them to make is the one with their children.  It is an adjustment when they no longer see their children on a daily basis.  For divorced dads it is important for them to focus on their children and becoming involved in their lives.  It is crucial that they seek a parenting arrangement that allows equal parenting time.  This will help secure the bond he has with his children.  The worst thing a divorced dad can do is to think that visiting his children every other weekend is acceptable.  Children will come to resent a father that sends a check each week but only chooses to be a part of his children’s lives on the weekend.
Another difficultly in divorce is splitting friends.  Couples are often made to choose sides when their friends divorce.  Many times women end up coming out on top with the friends they made as a couple.  This leaves newly divorced men seeking new connections or lonely.  If the man is fortunate he will have remained in touch with his guys friends pre-marriage and they will become more important as he reenters life as a single man.
The list of undesirable outcomes goes on and on for men devastated by divorce.  Divorce is never the end we look at when entering into marriage however as statics show it is become increasingly common.  Before you look into marriage it is crucial that you are aware of the devastation that can occur for a man if a divorce becomes inevitable.  Divorce attorneys are often quoted saying that more devastation occurs for a man when going through a divorce.  Women often seek out support where as men do not thus leaving them alone to navigate newly charted water.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce.  For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Trenton, Michigan and the surrounding area you can find more information at