Thursday, December 12, 2013

Handling the Emotions of Divorce

The word divorce brings so many different emotions with it.  For some people the emotions that are brought on with divorce create stress that is so deep it interferes with everything else in their lives.  Functioning from day to day when the stress of an impending divorce looms over is a lot for most people to handle.  One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to learn to cope and move on from the stress, learn to relax and move forward and let the cards play out as they will.  The extra worry that you carry with you will not make the tide turn any more in your favor than it will have without it.  What will help you is to take care of yourself. Put yourself out there, begin to exercise, eat healthy and work to begin producing positive energy and thoughts.  

If you recognize that you are not handling the stress brought on by your divorce there are many things that you can do to turn that cycle into something better focused.  Less stress leaves you healthier and better equipped for life when the divorce dust settles.  This is also true for kids going through divorce and especially difficult child custody arrangements, stress can turn them into people we no longer recognize. 

Tips on Relieving the Burden of Stress a Divorce Causes

The first tip is to get help for all of the emotional needs that are being felt.  Talking with a trained professional is in everyone’s best interest during this most difficult time.  The difference between talking with friends and an impartial third party is the advice that is given on getting you back.  Friends easily sway back into the dwellings of the past where as a professional therapist is moving you out of the past and into the future that awaits you.

Make sure you are moving your body. Stress is not able to physically grab hold of bodies who are focused and moving forward.  Keep your children involved in extra-curricular sports and find a walking club to join or a gym to go to.  It is amazing what your body is capable of while releasing all of the negative.

Make time to do stuff for your needs.  Sit in the tub, read a book, go on a vacation or turn your phone off and have a staycation.  These are times you need to have for yourself and for your family.  Your kids will appreciate the person you are when you are refreshed and rejuvenated.  

This tip is huge for both you and for the kids.  Allow yourself to feel every emotion that is flooding into you.  Emotions will range from grieving to elation and everything in between and out of there.  You will feel it, they will feel it and all of that is healthy.  Feeling it and dwelling on it are two different things.  Don’t dwell on it as that won’t get you anywhere near where you need to be.

Lastly change your outlook.  Change what you expect out of yourself and others.  It is okay to be in control but it is also okay to let other help you. There is a difference between being controlled and allowing someone to help you.  It is okay to realize that and allow yourself to change your expectations towards yourself and your relationships with others.

Divorce is difficult but is even harder when you allow yourself to be buried with stress and burden.

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