When your marriage ends one life ends and a new one begins. The problem is that not everyone is ready for this to happen. Sometimes one partner in the marriage was not willing to accept that the marriage was ending and therefore the process of moving on and letting go of the past is more difficult than it should be. Below you will find some tips on letting go, moving on, jump starting your future and finding peace.
First things first; come clean with all of your emotions and realize that your life will continue after the end of your marriage. The feelings that you will have guarantee to run the gamut of emotions as well as to change frequently. You naturally will feel blame, pity, anger, worthlessness and insecure. On another spectrum you may feel free, liberated, useful and unrestricted. How you feel is uniquely personal. Feel what you feel. It is okay to go through each emotion feeling it completely. It is also perfectly normal to let it go. Eventually you will come to the point where your marriage and divorce no longer defines you and you will understand that your marriage will be like a cruise; something you did once before a long time ago.
Some people I meet with you are on the verge of filing for divorce are hanging on out of fear of being alone. Before there were two you were one and believe it or not you survived. Just as you have done in the past you will survive on your own. Being in a broken marriage is far lonelier than actually being on your own and creating a new life for yourself. It is reasonable to grieve for your loss or the marriage that you assumed you would be in however as with grieving in death there will come a time when you can start to move forward.
The next step may seem impossible at first but is as necessary as any. Make time to allow yourself to feel good. Stop burning daylight and get on course to living your new life; a life that you create where you can do or be anything you put your mind to. This will hit you like a ton of bricks. You won’t notice it happening but one day it will have happened and it will hit you. All of a sudden you will be living a meaningful, productive life. You will find yourself taking time in the morning making yourself feel good, you will wear clothing to feel good and that makes you feel attractive. Be it trying a new sport, wearing a new style of clothes or finally cutting your hair is a style you never contemplated before you will find yourself living life for yourself and no one else. You will have found time to be you and you will feel good about it.
In our next installment on life after divorce we will focus on accepting the next step and jump starting your future now that you have accepted your marriage is over and you are on to living for yourself.
Longton DM, a subsidiary of Longton Law Offices is a divorce attorney specializing in Men/Dad’s in divorce. For experienced representation throughout the divorce process in Michigan you can find more information at http://www.michigandivorcelawyerfordad.com/divorce.php.
No comments:
Post a Comment