There are so many emotions that are experienced throughout the divorce process. It is hard to go through the process without feeling a little bit of everything. The hope is that it won’t all hit at one time and that having a better understanding of what you will be experiencing it won’t be as difficult of a process to navigate.
One of the first emotions when going through a divorce is intense anger. It may be that you are trying to convey a mixture of pain, anxiety or irritation that comes out as anger. This feeling of intense wrath is a mechanism we use to shield ourselves. We try to protect ourselves from the vulnerability we are feeling and this is often done using anger. Projecting anger leave us in a state that doesn’t allow us to be discarded once again.
Another emotion that participants in a divorce succumb to is shock. You may be caught completely off guard when you are served with divorce papers. People have been known to be caught off guard; unaware that the troubles in their marriage have led to a request for a divorce. That feeling, the one in which it feels as if someone punched you as hard as they could right in the gut. Your life is going to change, it will be scary and it starts right now.
Another emotion that is often felt is the feeling of rejection and despair. Despair comes from being rejected. The feeling of someone not accepting you brings back feelings in your life of when you have previously been disregarded. Often times when your marriage fails people feel as if they too have failed. You are not damaged goods just because your marriage did not work. Your dreams have not failed; all that has happened is that you need to trade in the old dreams for new ones.
The fear of being alone is something that comes along with divorce. This is especially true if you have been in a relationship for an extended period of time. If you are unfamiliar with spending time by yourself the feeling can be quiet scary and cause you to have an overwhelming level of fear. Trust yourself, it is possible to survive on your own without the help of your partner.
When any change occurs and a new phase of life is about to get underway it can be pretty scary. It is alright to be scared. Being scared is natural. It would be unrealistic to believe that this phase would pass without it.
You will feel quiet bitter towards your partner and others that may be helping them through the process. Seeing your perfect family being ripped apart, thrown into turmoil because your spouse filed for divorce will cause you to be overcome with bitterness. When your partner files you will blame them; you will blame them for an outcome that you feel you don’t deserve.
Allow yourself to go through the myriad of emotions you are sure to feel. There is no right way to process your divorce. A good divorce attorney will offer you referrals for assistance in handling your emotions throughout the entire divorce process. Your divorce attorney will guide you; they are familiar with a process you are not so trust them and their instincts. Hold on tight for the rollercoaster ride you are about to embark upon!